I was doing my usual Facebook newsfeed scroll the other day when a I saw a post on someones page. It was a nice little note congratulating this girl on her recent engagement (which I do find exciting) and it was all nice and loving and congratulatory until the last sentence. Which said:
“I can’t wait to see you get married and see your life begin.”
And I just had to stop. And pause. And read it again to make sure it said what I thought it said.
And to my absolute horror, it did.
I think this is a problem among Christian women. Life begins with marriage.
But I’m single. And could be single for a significant period of time (after all, who really knows?). And I would like to think that my life has already begun. Because it has. It began 23 years ago. And I’ve been living ever since.
Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be married. I want that relationship. I want children. And I know marriage is a significant life change. But there is a difference between a life change and a life beginning.
I think Christian women teach this poorly to young girls (and even to young adults). My whole life I think I’ve been taught to wait for marriage. To save myself for marriage. To prepare myself for marriage. Is everything I do supposed to be for marriage? Or should my life be about God? Should I trust God unconditionally or should I trust God to find me a husband?
Why should I need a guy to fulfill me? If God is enough, I should rely on Him and Him alone. It shouldn’t matter if I stay single forever, become a serial dater, or have a long and happy marriage. I choose to rely on Him, instead of holding on to the promise of a future husband. Because no one ever promised me a husband and no one can guarantee me a husband. It would be futile to spend my life preparing myself for something that might never come. Instead I should spend my life pursuing God.
And why should I be less than whole until marriage? I know marriage brings people together in a way that unmarried people cannot understand. And two become one, and they do life together. But as a single person, I am a whole person. There is nothing missing from me. And even if there was, I don’t believe a person can fill any hole that might exist. I believe only God can truly and fully fill me up and make me whole.
My life began a long time ago. Everyday I choose to live my life, rely on God. Not waiting for the right guy to come along. Not looking for a husband in every guy that walks by. Just living in the moment, now, trusting God for whatever his plan is for me.
I will be content to be single.
I will rely on God.
I will run after God.