Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful for:

  • Reunions: A friend of mine came into town this past weekend and needed a place to stay so she crashed at my house. It has been around 9 months since I has last seen her and it was so amazing to catch up again, to spend time with each other, to talk and to laugh. And even if it was such a short period of time, it was fantastic.
  • Learning: So I have been in this 8 week social work training. And at times it has really sucked (like really…maybe at some point I will write a post about it). But this week it has been beneficial. I’ve learned things, about myself and about the world of child protection. I love to learn, and part of my frustration with the training is that there hasn’t been an learning. But now I can officially say I learned something new
  • Home: Part of this 8 week training has required me to live out of a hotel for 4 weeks. I enjoy traveling, I really do, but right now I just want my home. I am happy to have a place that feels like home and that my heart desires to return to. Tomorrow is the day!

What are you thankful for this week?


The Self(ish) Choice

Sometimes, after a long day at work or just a long day in general, all I want to do is curl up under a blanket and watch tv or read a book. I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I want to be alone. 

And every time I feel a little bit guilty about this feeling. 

I feel like I need to go out with friends. I feel like I need to say yes so that invitation. 

But all I want is to be alone. 

And for some reason that feels wrong. It feels like the wrong choice. It feels like there is something wrong with me for wanting to be alone sometimes. 

But the truth is that sometimes being alone is exactly what I need. And maybe that’s not wrong. 

It might seem selfish. But is it? For me, it’s a choice I make for myself. To keep myself healthy. Sane. Grounded. Well. It’s self-care. 

Sometimes when the world sucks I want to talk it out. Sometimes when the world sucks I want to be alone. 

It’s taken me a long time to be okay with that choice. To be confident in saying no to that invitation because I need me time. Because my ‘self’ needs to refresh. And sometimes I still think it seems wrong. Society tells me I should be out with people, living, partying, going out all the time. I’m only 26 and I should be having the time of my life. 

But my life wants me to be selfish sometimes. To focus on me sometimes. To not be with people all the time. 

And that’s not wrong. That’s not stupid. That’s not selfish. It is a choice I make for my self. And it is the right choice for myself. 

Sometimes you need to give yourself permission to be selfish. 

Sometimes being selfish isn’t bad. 

Sometimes making the selfish choice is exactly what the self needs. 

Tomorrow I’ll make a different choice (maybe). 

But today is the day to be selfish. 

Thankful Thursday 

This week I am thankful for:

  • Oceans: the ocean is my happy place. It is the place that makes me feel at peace. It makes me feel whole. Spending time at the ocean is the best cure to any feeling 
  • New friends: I’ve been doing this training for 8 weeks. And sometimes it is horrible and exhausting. But the nice part is that I’ve made some new professional friends. And that is invaluable. 
  • Laughter: they say laughter is the best medicine. And I have to agree. A little bit of laughter goes a long way. 

What are you thankful for this week?

Thankful Thursday

This was a habit I had before when I blogged. And it was a good habit. A habit that forced me to focus on something other than the negatives in life (because let’s be real it is easier to focus on the negative). So here is what I am thankful for this week:

  • New jobs: I started a position on Monday. One that I wanted, one that makes me a social worker. I am excited about it. And terrified. Mostly excited about the challenge. 
  • Coworkers: because a new job would be impossible without supportive coworkers. And I am lucky, I have coworkers willing to take me under their wings and teach me the job. 
  • Family: because who doesn’t like it when you don’t have to make dinner because your family invites you over?
  • Blogging: I’ve really been enjoying my new found desire to blog. My fingers process my thoughts better than anything else. 

What are you thankful for this week?

Absurd Happiness 

This card makes me absurdly happy. Really just the two words on it. Social worker. 

I went to school for five years to hear those words. 

I worked outside of my field for a year to hear those words. 

I worked in a social work office in a non social work position to hear those words. 

And yesterday they became mine. 

I am a social worker. 

I wrote a post about that once. Back before I could really own those words. Back before those words were what I was. 

And now I am a social worker. A child protection social worker to be exact. 

It’s amazing. And terrifying. It’s incredible. And horrible. I’m so excited. And so anxious. I feel so capable. And so inadequate. 

I don’t know what the next days, weeks, months, or years will look like. They have the power to break me or make me. It could be the best years or the worst years. Only time will tell. 

And until then, I will be absurdly happy about two little words. Social Worker. 

Back from the Dead

Two years.

It has been two years since I last posted (give or take).

I don’t know why stopped blogging. Life got busy I guess, as it does. I ran out of things to write, as it happens. I really can’t remember making a conscious decision to stop writing.

Today, a post I made on Facebook about blogging came up on my Timehop (what a handy invention). And I clicked the link. And reviewed my blog. And read my posts. And I realized I missed it. I missed the feeling of words flowing from my brain and through my fingers. I missed the feeling of typing out what I was thinking and feeling. I missed posting my thoughts for the the world (or at least a few people) to see.

So I’m back.

For now at least. I make no promises.

But I like the idea of writing again. Of processing things here, with people I don’t know. Or maybe with no one at all. Maybe it is just for me, but that counts for something.

Here goes nothing.