My faith is incredibly important to me. And central to my life. And, as this blog is an extension of my life, it will also be important here.
So if I’m going to write about my beliefs on this blog, it seems only right that I should share more about my faith.
Here is my journey:
I was born into a Christian home. So to some degree I have that “typical” story.
My parents took me to church. When I was 5 I did the natural thing and prayed that prayer and became a believer.
But my story was barely beginning.
I describe my initial belief as the next logical step in my life. When I was 1 I started walking, at 2 I could talk, by 3 I was potty trained. Next up: become a Christian.
But it didn’t mean a lot. Nothing changed. I knew very little about what I believed. And I never developed healthy habits.
So eventually, as they have a tendency to do, the dark days came and I found I had no foundation.
I became very depressed. I developed unhealthy habits. I stopped living for God in my private life. Though in my public life I seemed to have it all together. I went to church every Sunday and went to youth group every week. I went on missions trips and volunteered at summer camps.
All the while I was falling apart on the inside.
It wasn’t until I was 19 that I began to get my life back together. My grandma died that summer, and for the first time I became publicly vulnerable. I became best friends with a girl who was open and honest about her life and so I became open and honest about mine. Together we rebuilt our lives.
I’d love to say I figured it all out at that point, but I am human. And I fail more often then I succeed.
Because of that friendship I decided to move to Kansas and attend Tabor College. And the dark days came again. Perhaps even worse this time. I had an incredibly unhealthy and destructive relationship . I became depressed and suicidal. And I hated every minute of my time at Tabor. I had felt God call me to Kansas and it seemed like the worst decision I could have ever made.
But I stuck with it. And soon my experience there changed.
I found myself at Tabor. Perhaps not the person people thought I should be. I didn’t always fit in completely. I didn’t love every minute of it.
But I found myself there.
And I found God. I trusted Him for the first time. I relied on Him. And it turns out He is worth it.